sagittariusly | for foolofatook

"Well..."

It took Merry a couple more moments before coming up with words following that brilliant opening. "I suppose the lasses are just like us, you know? Just... giggly. And with a penchant for ribbons and lace." He took a sip of ale and added, "And some of them really dislike ale, for some unfathomable reason."

...all right, so maybe they weren't like them at all. "But... suppose you want to talk to one. Why would you, anyway? What do you hope to accomplish by talking to them?"

Edited 2012-10-01 01:40 (UTC)

Pippin nodded along, paying rapt attention, which one had to admit, was rather unusual for him. He knew Merry would be able to help him.

"Oh, well, I thought if I talked to one, she might let me kiss her. I'd love to give that a go."

"Kiss them?"

Whoops, that was in no way said in a low, muted voice. Quickly Merry cleared his throat and leaned closer to Pippin again. Sometimes even he couldn't believe the things coming out of his cousin's mouth! "You're telling me you haven't been kissed before?"

"Shh!" Pippin exclaimed, eyes darting around nervously. Luckily the pub was a noisy place, and it looked like no one had overheard them.

"Well! I-I, there was... I mean... does it count if you somewhat... steal the kiss?"

"You stole a kiss? Why would you need to steal a kiss, Pippin? If the lass is enamored enough with you, she'll giving you all the kisses you want for free!"

Of course, Pippin's declaration made Merry curious, despite himself. "So, who did you steal this kiss from anyway? And is she the same girl you want to kiss again?"

"Because she was acting like she wanted me to kiss her! But when I did, she seemed quite offended. So I thought perhaps if I knew how to talk to a lass first, then I could know for sure."

He paused to sip at his ale, then gave Merry a quick glance.

"You don't know her. And it doesn't matter. I'll find someone else."

Merry shook his head. "What do you mean the lass was acting like she wants you to kiss her? When it comes to matters as dire as that, you can't just... assume things! Why, you're lucky she just seemed quite offended and didn't resort to slapping you, which I'm told most lasses do when they're offended!"

...no, no Pippin, if you're going to dissuade Merry from asking things, you ought to do better than that. "How can you be certain? I might know her. Come on, tell me already!"

"Well she was complimenting me! She likes me, or so I thought, and that's why I thought she wanted me to." Except now it seemed that Pippin had read the situation wrong. If only he had a better understanding of womenfolk. Well, that was why he was asking Merry, wasn't it?

"You don't! She comes from the North-farthing. Stop asking!"

"Come on, Pippin!" Merry practically bounced on his seat. The more Pippin tried to withheld information, the more Merry wanted to find out about it. "Just tell me her name! Who knows, maybe I can help clear your name. Maybe I can even sweet-talk her into giving you a real kiss!"

"I don't need you to do all that, Merry! I simply need to know what to say to her in the future." This situation was starting to get out of hand. Though he certainly wanted his cousin's help, Pippin didn't want him to meddle.

Merry waved that away. "How will I be able to advise you correctly if I have no idea who the lass is?" He leaned in closer. "See, when wooing women, you choose your steps according to how much you know about her. The more you know her, the easier it will be for you to reel her in."

"Can't you just give me advice about lasses in general?" His tone was naively hopeful, as he really didn't want to reveal that the lass in question was a distant cousin: Diamond Took of the Long Cleeve branch of Tooks. If Merry knew, he might do something embarrassing.

"No!" Merry thought for a minute. "Don't you know? Each woman is unique. Like... diamonds, for instance!" He didn't know where he heard that phrase, but it was strangely appropriate in this moment. "You can't just have one general plan for all of them. It will depend on the woman you wish to woo!"

Pippin jumped in his seat at the mention of diamonds, looking about himself nervously as if every Hobbit in the Shire was eavesdropping on this conversation.

"I don't know. There must be some traits that all lasses share. You said yourself that they don't care for the taste of ale."

"Most of those I know don't, but we'll never know for sure if this is true for that lass you have set your sights on!"

In his frustration, Merry brought the mug of ale to his lps and drank it all in one long gulp. "Why don't you want to tell me the most important bit? Can't be that hard to say her name, can it?"

"I just--" Pippin broke off and sighed. It was very like him to share everything with his cousin, but in this rather grown up matter, he wanted to keep the lady to himself. He knew Merry wouldn't go so far as to outright tell the lady of Pippin's interest, but he was sure Merry would tease him a good deal.

Really, he was sure Merry was going to tease him regardless of the name. So he decided to come out with it. But first he beckoned his cousin closer and lowered his voice.

"Do you promised to keep this a secret between just the two of us?"

"Yes, yes of course," he replied all too quickly, especially now that it seemed he was able to break through Pippin's defenses and insistence to not tell him anything, after all. Merry kept a straight face, hoping it would convince his cousin to trust him with his very life.

"Now - who is she?"

"Well, you see, it's--" He risked a quick glance around before leaning across the table and cupping a hand around Merry's ear. Quickly, as if he was afraid of losing his nerve, he said, "It's my distant cousin Diamond Took, of Long Cleeve in the North."

Then he sat back and took a long drink from his mug to steady his nerves.

"Diamond Took!" Wait, no that wasn't as discreet as both of them would have liked but the tavern was loud enough for it to be thought of as among the many noises within it. Merry quickly leaned towards Pippin again. "I mean-- your distant cousin? Really?"

There weren't many instances when Merry beheld Pippin's fair cousin but from what he could remember of her, she was a real beauty. He whistled appreciatively.

Pippin was close to grabbing Merry by the shoulders and shaking him. Could he have said that any louder?

But he restrained himself and settled for a glare instead.

"Yes, really. And I'll thank you not to say her name aloud like that again."

"...sorry," he replied contritely, and it's clear on his face that Merry was sincere about it. "It's just that... she's the one you stole a kiss from? Do you know that a lot of other Hobbits would have given their all just for a kiss from her?"

A lot of other Hobbits would also have Pippin's head if they knew what he'd done, but Merry reckoned he knew that already.

Pippin sat up straighter, eyes narrowing.

"Which Hobbits?" He didn't really like the idea of having competition when it came to the lovely Diamond Took.

for foolofatook

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suddenly a tag I AM SO SORRY

it was so cold without you :/

what can I do to make it up to you

just lavish me with tags, of course. :3

ew no

/runs away forever, never giving you another tag after this

HA YOU WLL NEVER BE RID OF ME

/CRIES