Ryusei had to pause, and had to alternate between biting his lip and forcefully swallowing so he could speak without gasping.

"By me. Decided by me."

He couldn't keep staring at his fists forever. He needed to look up at her. It was the least he could do. But not right now. His resolve would break; he couldn't afford that. "Please understand," he meant to say normally, but came out as a whisper.