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It was perhaps a good thing she had turned her back on him when he said those words. The smile on her lips froze and died. Jabi swallowed, hard - she and Tsubasa rarely saw eye to eye on matters especially those concerning Rin but she never thought--

"Is that so?" She was proud of how bored she'd made herself appear. "It's too bad the decision isn't yours to make, isn't it? Rin is my student, not you." Jabi paused, and when she turned to face him she had lost all amusement. "There are still some things I need to teach her, before I allow her to be on her own." I still need to protect her, she thought, but didn't say aloud.

"But she's my sister. My blood, and you live in our home. She has no family but me. It's my responsibility to do the right thing for her." Tsubasa faced Jabi with every bit of the conviction he was having to force himself not to doubt. He didn't intend to pretend he was enjoying this, despite it being confirmed for him that Jabi didn't consider him a valid authority in Rin's life, "You talk about her being a woman more than a Makai Priestess. There is no place for that while the Knights are under attack."

For several moments she stood there, looking at him with very little expression on her face. Deep down she knew she had no choice in the matter - blood was blood, and she had no claim over Rin when her brother was there for her. "Will you be looking for a new mentor for her?" Pursing her lips she added, "Or perhaps you've already found one?"

It was truly a difficult thing, making Tsubasa see that being a Makai Knight or Priestess wasn't all that a person should be. But Jabi had already given up on the task - what was the point of trying to make one who insist on being blind to the truth open his eyes?

"No!" As soon as he said it he knew he was making too quick a denial. Jabi would now not believe that he wasn't replacing her. Perhaps Rin would write to her, or she would hear through others that no one else had been appointed, "Rin wouldn't accept it, and I don't want her to have another mentor. She will be on her own."

Tsubasa didn't think he needed to say that she would miss Jabi. He knew what it was like to grow up without friends. Even now he wasn't sure he'd ever had one, and that was something he didn't wish on Rin. A female presence in her life might have been valuable up until the point where it began to lead her away from full devotion to her place as a Makai Priestess, "We are grateful to you, but there's no other way."

There was one way - he could let her stay. But Jabi didn't say that out loud - she wouldn't want him to think she was begging him. Her pride wouldn't allow it.

"I see." Five years, and it only took one day for it to end. Jabi had grown to love Rin like a little sister - perhaps even like a daughter she knew she would never have. The thought that she would never spend time with Rin the way she did before tore at her, but she would bear it - just like she bore Priest Amon's death. "Very well. I'll leave Rin's safety to you, then. Protect her well."

He had left Rin waiting for longer than he intended. She would be impatient, and might come looking for them if he or Jabi didn't return to her soon, "will you see Rin before you go?"

Tsubasa had wanted her to leave without speaking to Rin, so that Rin would learn to accept a sudden loss just as she would have to if he or Jabi were to be cut down. Now he worried that Rin would hate him if he didn't give her a chance to say goodbye. It seemed that was going to happen no matter what he did. Either she would be angry with him for sending Jabi away, or Jabi would stay and continue to convince Rin that Tsubasa didn't understand her and was not making the effort to involve himself in her life. It was becoming difficult to silence the part of his mind that told him he could not die with Rin thinking he hadn't cared; and he had no answers.

"...yes," she replied, before she could stop herself. Then she turned to Tsubasa and smirked. "But not to tell her I'm leaving for good."

She'd leave the matter to him; since he was the one who decided she should leave, then he should face the consequences of his decision. Besides, Jabi wasn't comfortable with goodbyes. Best that her memories of Rin weren't tainted with something as emotional as their parting.

"...Tsubasa, can I ask you something?" Not waiting for him to reply she went on with, "You never did like me, did you?"

"I didn't say that." She was asking questions before he had time to process what was supposed to be happening with Rin. One moment Jabi had been resigned to leaving, and now she was blithely announcing her intention to stay. He didn't know why he had ever expected her to respect his decision, "I thought you were dead. You know that." The memory of how she had proved otherwise made him uncomfortable in light of their earlier conversation.

Oh, she was leaving Kantai, all right - she just didn't want to mention it to the child. If Rin was to ask Tsubasa where Jabi had gone... well. Let him explain to her what had transpired in this room.

"That's it? You chose to not like me because you thought I was dead?" Jabi didn't know why she was pushing this, but she was curious, nonetheless. Rin would never have a mentor as good as her, so why was it that Tsubasa seemed always bothered by her presence?

"It's not a question of dislike. If Rin thinks you believe she should follow her own desires over the law of the Makai Priests, she will accept it as true. That can't happen, so -" he hesitated before repeating the assertion, "I have asked you not to return. My personal feelings don't matter." They certainly wouldn't matter to Rin when she found out that Jabi wasn't coming back. He would deal with that when the time came.

"Is that what you think I'm teaching her? That she should only follow her whims?" She had to wonder where Tsubasa got this idea. If Jabi were solely teaching Rin those things, wouldn't the child be insisting that she stopped her training now? Just because Jabi had those yearnings did not necessarily mean she would pass them on to her students - though perhaps Tsubasa chose to see it that way.

"I'll assure you that I won't return, but let's make this clear between us - you're wrong."

"That's not what I said. You're a good teacher -" That was too much of an understatement for him to leave it there, "the best teacher Rin could have had. But she learns from your example, not just your instruction. You talk about how she's not just a Makai Priestess but a woman. What is she taking from that? What does it even mean?" The pitch of his voice had risen sharply and Tsubasa stopped to compose himself. He told himself again that he was simply doing his best for Rin, no theatrics needed.

The stare that she gave him was withering. "If you don't know what it means, then you're an even bigger fool than I give you credit for." This was Kantai - his jurisdiction, the land under his protection, and knowing it was the only reason she didn't tell him to go away and get lost.

Edited 2012-09-29 09:07 (UTC)

Tsubasa reacted before he could remember not to be provoked. His mouth opened and he moved towards her, but it was several moments before he could answer, "This is my home, my land, and I won't be called a fool in it. Are you even sure Rin wants ... whatever it is you say she wants? Why doesn't she tell me?" His previous uncertainties about the decision to fire Jabi were fading away. He had never denied the idea that Rin might one day want to get married, but beyond that he knew very little about what it was that Jabi believed he should allow his sister to be. If it involved insulting him, undermining his authority in his jurisdiction, and Jabi's strange ways of speaking and touching someone - his answer was No.

Jabi raised her chin in defiance, choosing to face him without any qualms or uncertainty. Perhaps calling him a fool was uncalled for, but then she wasn't one to back down when she knew she was right. "Why do you think she doesn't tell you? And before you even accuse me of such, no - I never prohibited her from telling you whatever it is that she wants. On the contrary - I encourage it." Why would she such a thing, anyway? It had never been her intention to replace Tsubasa in Rin's life. She had no plans of undermining Tsubasa in his sister's eyes - it would be pointless, and besides, Tsubasa was her brother - when it came down to Jabi and Tsubasa, Rin's loyalties would always be with her family.

"Have you ever considered that perhaps you're the reason she never tells you anything?"

Tsubasa wasn't naive enough to expect that Rin would always be as open and affectionate with him as when she was a child. He was prepared for her to grow up; he just hadn't thought that she would withdraw and refuse to listen to him. Jabi was in a better position to understand a teenage girl's concerns but he considered that, as Rin's mentor, she should have taught Rin that such things were secondary to her destiny as a Makai Priestess. "I hope Rin could speak to me any time she liked. But I have never taught her to be obstinate, and neither has anyone in my household." He felt less inclined to watch his words now that Jabi was directly confronting him.

"And you think I did?"

Perhaps she should have invited Tsubasa to watch her training with Rin, just so all these doubts of his would be wiped clean. But such an opportunity would never come again.

"You seem to be forgetting that some things don't need to be taught. They are already innate." Couldn't he see that his sister was just as obstinate as he was?

Jabi laughed. "How interesting. All these time, when Rin refused to listen to me, I blame you for raising her that way - and here you are, blaming me for it too."

"Only children blame others. I'm talking about taking responsibility." On top of the matter of his encounter with the man in the red mask, Tsubasa didn't feel able to solve two concerns at once. He had determined that he wasn't going anywhere soon and refused to think any further ahead than that, but now that others had been affected he would join the rest of the Makai Knights to destroy the curse. Jabi's constant pressing was making it harder for him to ignore the sadness that came when he wondered what Rin's memories of him would be, "What more can I do? If you leave, she'll resent me. If you stay, nothing will change. Do what you want, it makes no difference."

He had a valid point - not that she'd admit it.

"Why are you under the impression that Rin resents you in some way? Because she's obstinate at times? Because she doesn't follow every word you say?" Jabi shrugged that off. "She's young. She's bound to have moments when she doesn't want to follow anything, or anyone. That doesn't mean she stopped loving you as her brother."

"I don't know that she does. She will, if you leave." It wasn't the first time he'd had to face the threat of backing down from his own pride when Rin was involved. He didn't like it, but was hoping to reach a compromise that didn't involve him stating he had been wrong to remove Jabi, "you're the only friend she has. We don't know more about the Makai Knights - this curse. If it exists, I don't want her to be alone when she doesn't have to be."

And now here he was, telling her that he didn't want Rin to be alone when a few minutes ago he all but shoved her out of his sister's reach. Jabi sighed loudly, then raised a brow at him.

"You're a very confusing man, Tsubasa," she said, just because it was the truth. Jabi considered him, and added, "Although I do find it strange that all of a sudden you're concerned with how Rin views you." And even considered Jabi a threat to it. A beat, and then, "Is there something you're not telling her?"

"You're confusing me." He'd been so sure that removing Jabi from Rin's life was the right thing to do and within a few moments she had somehow managed to overturn his conviction. He felt that at this time it was more important for Rin to be happy than him to be right, "No, there's nothing. A Makai Knight or Priestess is always prepared to die. If I expect her to see that, I have to lead by example."

There he went again. It was hard not to suspect anything, when he was reiterating death time and again - as though he was certain something was coming at him. Given that Kantai was peaceful now, with only the threat of the curse to Makai Knights raising the concerns of Priests and knights everywhere, it was easy to derive that something had happened to Tsubasa, only he was choosing not to say it.

Yet it was not her place to pry. It had never been, even if he was giving her back the choice of whether to stay or go after her summon from Kouga had been finished. It was strange; she should gloat that she managed to make him retract his decision - but all she felt now was relief, and some dread.

"You're right," she said. "But don't go rushing to your death anytime soon - you'll only regret it if you do."

"Why would I do such a thing? I'm not going anywhere." As of yet the seal on his chest didn't seem to be having any effect on him, although it was sometimes painful when training. He had been waiting for news of any developments or suggestion of a way to remove it. A Makai Priestess might know more but since Jabi hadn't volunteered anything, he saw no reason to take her into his confidence. He believed that the force of will could overcome many things and because of this he had already decided his life wasn't going to be ended so easily. Some Makai Knights had lived to great ages, and although he was prepared to die at any time, he didn't see why he shouldn't be around to see Rin grow up, "If she won't listen to my words, perhaps she'll learn from my example."

She had meant the words to be taken in jest, but perhaps even trying it would be in vain. Perhaps that was one of Tsubasa's faults - he seemed incapable of seeing the lighter side to everything. Jabi was certainly grateful that his sister was nowhere near his level of seriousness, and could still laugh when it was appropriate.

She was about to tell him these things when Rin herself appeared, announcing that it was time for dinner. Jabi smiled at her and, shooting a look Tsubasa's way, told Rin that she should stay with her brother and walk with him, before moving out on her own. Perhaps the two of them should start talking now, so that the Knight would at least have the peace of mind he so desperately craved.

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