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"I am not belittling Rin. She's stubborn, not disobedient. She refuses to listen to a word I say, can you explain that? She doesn't get it from me or my apprentices." Tsubasa had been prepared to possibly concede that Rin was closer to a full Makai Priestess than he had hoped for; but the accusation of his deliberately undermining Rin had sent him straight back to the defensive.

Jabi's eyes widened, and here she laughed again. "She doesn't? You're certain you don't know where she gets her stubbornness?" How interesting. Perhaps it was true - it was easy to see others' fault but not one's own. It was certainly what was happening now, with Tsubasa blind to his own shortcomings.

"Not from anyone here. I wasn't so thoughtless at her age, and I hope that neither were you." Tsubasa was conscious that he wanted to stop short of outright accusing Jabi of being a negative influence on Rin, "while you are here, she won't pay attention to me. Maybe after you leave I'll stand a chance of getting through to her."

Perhaps he wasn't saying it outright, but Jabi was not so foolish as to not get what he was not-so-subtly pointing out to her. There's a few moments when she contemplated on what, exactly, to say to Tsubasa in response.

"When I was Rin's age," she started, "I had no friends. I had no family. Priest Amon was the only one who was there for me." Jabi had nothing in her life but her training under the good priest, and so she dedicated herself fully to her learning. But moments when she wished she was doing something else - living a normal life - were abundant. She entertained them, especially during moments when she was weak. "I'd like to think I wasn't thoughtless, else Priest Amon would have already punished me for it."

Jabi cocked her head to one side. "Perhaps you're not reaching Rin because of how you approach her. There are certain ways on how to approach a woman, Tsubasa, and I am fully aware you are not versed in any of them."

Edited 2012-09-28 12:26 (UTC)

"'Approach a woman?'" Tsubasa gaped at her for the space of several moments while this reached through to his senses. As soon as it did he rushed to interrupt himself, "I'm her brother, the only family she has left. What is there to understand? I would hope I know her better than anyone."

A tiny corner of his mind considered that Jabi was right, he had very little idea of women. He dismissed the thought immediately. He was vaguely aware of the airy things associated with women: dresses, red-painted lips, hairstyles, other trivialities that had no place in Rin's life. One day, she might take up with some Makai Knight and have children as her namesake had done, but all of that was too far into the future to think about now. The idea of "women's things" seemed faintly tawdry to him and so he changed the subject, "Exactly. You or I wouldn't have acted foolishly, because we would have been punished. Is that it? Haven't I disciplined her enough?"

Jabi smiled inwardly. It was very amusing how she only need to talk about women to make the stubborn Makai Knight lose composure. It was almost too easy, at times.

"Rin isn't the same as your disciples, and you would be very stupid to even consider treating them the same way." She stepped closer to him. "Rin is growing up to be a fine Makai Priestess, but at the same time she's growing up to be a woman - no matter how you see her now. You say you know her better than anyone because you're her brother - but do you? What do you know of Rin now? What are the things that make the Rin of today different from the Rin who tried and succeeded in making you smile five years ago? Would you know?"

Tsubasa wasn't quick enough to keep his expression straight. He could feel his shoulders tensing and blood coming to his face. Jabi had already won the satisfaction of making him lose his composure and now the most he could do was to stand his ground. He breathed deeply before answering her, "My disciples are obedient and devoted. I wouldn't expect any less from Rin. The law of the Knights and Priests applies to all of us, even a - a woman."

He had wanted to point to Priestess Garai, or Saejima Kouga's mother, as shining examples of what he aspired for Rin to be. Tsubasa tried, once, again; and understood that the words wouldn't come. Jabi would be more than aware that he wasn't addressing the question of whether he could truthfully say he understood Rin as she was now, rather than as she had once been. He could go no further around it. Rin would be most likely to take Jabi's view simply because it was Jabi, and that left him to face the prospect that she would remember him not as a loving brother but someone who had chosen not to understand her or be part of her life. Any idea of how soon that might happen was irrelevant.

"And it does, of course. But being a Makai Priestess is not all that a woman is, Tsubasa - just as a Makai Knight is not all that a man can be."

Here, Kouga could easily come to mind. Kouga, the Golden Knight, who was ruthless and difficult to defeat in battle - but could easily bend to the whims of a small, defenseless woman like Kaoru. What did it feel like, Jabi wondered, to have someone like that in one's life? To have someone whom she'd endure all hardships for. Perhaps she'd never know.

Or perhaps she already did.

But these were not thoughts she wished to entertain now. So, to distract herself, she focused her attention on Tsubasa - and a wicked idea came to mind. Idly, she dragged a finger up his arm and added, "Right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He moved his arm sharply out of her reach, "If Rin did not want to be a Makai Priestess, she's had the last five years to say so. And if she wants to abandon her training, there will be no need for you to return." He knew very well that Rin had absolutely no such intention but even if he couldn't physically stop Jabi from coming back, mentioning it should at least move the subject to something less awkward for him. She seemed to think that making a point involved touching or grabbing. That was a habit he didn't want Rin to learn.

The smile that adorned her face was wide and unabashed. They both knew that Rin's path was as clear as theirs was simply because she had little choice in the matter - besides, there was also Rin's own eagerness to learn all she could. Nothing could stop her from being who she was born to become.

"Of course you know nothing of what I'm talking about," she said languidly, placing a hand on her hip again. "Kouga does, and I bet Rei does, too. There are certain benefits to being at the receiving end of a woman's touch, after all."

"What?" Jabi's satisfied smile was threatening to irritate him further, and Tsubasa didn't intend to give her that much. He moved a little further away from her, "Kouga and Zero have nothing to do with this. You're changing the subject." The entire sum of the conversation was turning his mood sour. He felt that the existence of lives and families outside of their duty was inevitable, but should simply be accepted as the way of the world, and not celebrated or encouraged. Jabi's approach seemed to him to be beyond inappropriate, almost seditious. He wondered for a moment whether Garai would believe his word for it if Jabi were to escalate the matter of Rin to her.

Maybe she was, but she couldn't help but draw amusement from his overt discomfort. When they first met, Jabi had thought him a child forcibly donning a Knight's armor - stubborn, naive, unwilling to bend even on matters where it was required.

Five years later, and it seemed that he had yet to change her opinion of him.

"Suit yourself," she said, turning away from him. "Just remember what I said, if you really want to make the most out of my absence. You'll only waste time if you don't."

"I don't want you to come back." Tsubasa had been hesitating over whether to say so, but now the words were spoken he felt better for it. "Rin follows your example. If she believes you think I underestimate her, or that you expect her to distract herself, she'll listen to you. You were a valuable teacher, but that's my last word. I will defend myself to Priestess Garai if I have to." He would deal with Rin's reaction later. A Makai Knight must be prepared to make any decision and live with the consequences.

It was perhaps a good thing she had turned her back on him when he said those words. The smile on her lips froze and died. Jabi swallowed, hard - she and Tsubasa rarely saw eye to eye on matters especially those concerning Rin but she never thought--

"Is that so?" She was proud of how bored she'd made herself appear. "It's too bad the decision isn't yours to make, isn't it? Rin is my student, not you." Jabi paused, and when she turned to face him she had lost all amusement. "There are still some things I need to teach her, before I allow her to be on her own." I still need to protect her, she thought, but didn't say aloud.

"But she's my sister. My blood, and you live in our home. She has no family but me. It's my responsibility to do the right thing for her." Tsubasa faced Jabi with every bit of the conviction he was having to force himself not to doubt. He didn't intend to pretend he was enjoying this, despite it being confirmed for him that Jabi didn't consider him a valid authority in Rin's life, "You talk about her being a woman more than a Makai Priestess. There is no place for that while the Knights are under attack."

For several moments she stood there, looking at him with very little expression on her face. Deep down she knew she had no choice in the matter - blood was blood, and she had no claim over Rin when her brother was there for her. "Will you be looking for a new mentor for her?" Pursing her lips she added, "Or perhaps you've already found one?"

It was truly a difficult thing, making Tsubasa see that being a Makai Knight or Priestess wasn't all that a person should be. But Jabi had already given up on the task - what was the point of trying to make one who insist on being blind to the truth open his eyes?

"No!" As soon as he said it he knew he was making too quick a denial. Jabi would now not believe that he wasn't replacing her. Perhaps Rin would write to her, or she would hear through others that no one else had been appointed, "Rin wouldn't accept it, and I don't want her to have another mentor. She will be on her own."

Tsubasa didn't think he needed to say that she would miss Jabi. He knew what it was like to grow up without friends. Even now he wasn't sure he'd ever had one, and that was something he didn't wish on Rin. A female presence in her life might have been valuable up until the point where it began to lead her away from full devotion to her place as a Makai Priestess, "We are grateful to you, but there's no other way."

There was one way - he could let her stay. But Jabi didn't say that out loud - she wouldn't want him to think she was begging him. Her pride wouldn't allow it.

"I see." Five years, and it only took one day for it to end. Jabi had grown to love Rin like a little sister - perhaps even like a daughter she knew she would never have. The thought that she would never spend time with Rin the way she did before tore at her, but she would bear it - just like she bore Priest Amon's death. "Very well. I'll leave Rin's safety to you, then. Protect her well."

He had left Rin waiting for longer than he intended. She would be impatient, and might come looking for them if he or Jabi didn't return to her soon, "will you see Rin before you go?"

Tsubasa had wanted her to leave without speaking to Rin, so that Rin would learn to accept a sudden loss just as she would have to if he or Jabi were to be cut down. Now he worried that Rin would hate him if he didn't give her a chance to say goodbye. It seemed that was going to happen no matter what he did. Either she would be angry with him for sending Jabi away, or Jabi would stay and continue to convince Rin that Tsubasa didn't understand her and was not making the effort to involve himself in her life. It was becoming difficult to silence the part of his mind that told him he could not die with Rin thinking he hadn't cared; and he had no answers.

"...yes," she replied, before she could stop herself. Then she turned to Tsubasa and smirked. "But not to tell her I'm leaving for good."

She'd leave the matter to him; since he was the one who decided she should leave, then he should face the consequences of his decision. Besides, Jabi wasn't comfortable with goodbyes. Best that her memories of Rin weren't tainted with something as emotional as their parting.

"...Tsubasa, can I ask you something?" Not waiting for him to reply she went on with, "You never did like me, did you?"

"I didn't say that." She was asking questions before he had time to process what was supposed to be happening with Rin. One moment Jabi had been resigned to leaving, and now she was blithely announcing her intention to stay. He didn't know why he had ever expected her to respect his decision, "I thought you were dead. You know that." The memory of how she had proved otherwise made him uncomfortable in light of their earlier conversation.

Oh, she was leaving Kantai, all right - she just didn't want to mention it to the child. If Rin was to ask Tsubasa where Jabi had gone... well. Let him explain to her what had transpired in this room.

"That's it? You chose to not like me because you thought I was dead?" Jabi didn't know why she was pushing this, but she was curious, nonetheless. Rin would never have a mentor as good as her, so why was it that Tsubasa seemed always bothered by her presence?

"It's not a question of dislike. If Rin thinks you believe she should follow her own desires over the law of the Makai Priests, she will accept it as true. That can't happen, so -" he hesitated before repeating the assertion, "I have asked you not to return. My personal feelings don't matter." They certainly wouldn't matter to Rin when she found out that Jabi wasn't coming back. He would deal with that when the time came.

"Is that what you think I'm teaching her? That she should only follow her whims?" She had to wonder where Tsubasa got this idea. If Jabi were solely teaching Rin those things, wouldn't the child be insisting that she stopped her training now? Just because Jabi had those yearnings did not necessarily mean she would pass them on to her students - though perhaps Tsubasa chose to see it that way.

"I'll assure you that I won't return, but let's make this clear between us - you're wrong."

"That's not what I said. You're a good teacher -" That was too much of an understatement for him to leave it there, "the best teacher Rin could have had. But she learns from your example, not just your instruction. You talk about how she's not just a Makai Priestess but a woman. What is she taking from that? What does it even mean?" The pitch of his voice had risen sharply and Tsubasa stopped to compose himself. He told himself again that he was simply doing his best for Rin, no theatrics needed.

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